I once asked my (eating disorded) friend why she rounded up her calories so much. I guess I knew the answer, because I used to do the very same thing, but I wanted to see what it meant to her.
She said, “Oh, it’s just in case.”
Which leads us, of course, to the following: just in case what? Just in case you break the ‘limit’ your ED has set you? Why would that be a bad thing, eating more than you had ‘planned’ beforehand?
Do you sometimes feel the same?
Breaking any ED compulsion - be it rounding up calories, or compulsively weighing yourself “just to make sure”, or anything - is always a very brave and very right thing to do.
The people at LUNA are so nice, oh my goodness!
I sent them a message about my anorexia recovery, and how LUNA helped me become weight restored. Today in the mail, I received this box of LUNA bars. I was so surprised because I hadn’t ordered any. I sent them a message asking, “Is this a mistake?” They replied saying it was a free gift because my story inspired them.
Talk to your doctor! Bloating and constipation is normal in recovery (unfortunately), but they may have some suggestions for you.
Until then, check out this (really long) article on Your Eatopia. Scroll down, or Ctrl+F for “phases of recovery,” for a lot of really good information on dealing with constipation, bloat, and other symptoms that come along with recovery from a restrictive eating disorder.
Also, I am so proud of you for your recovery. You’re so brave and strong.
In less insane news, my therapist told me about this app while we were in session today. It’s called Recovery Record and it’s like a food/mood log but there is ZERO focus on numbers - nothing you eat is quantified in any specific way (simply “inadequate” “adequate” and “excessive”) - and you are rewarded with affirmations, music? or something? (this I’m still confused about), and eventually cute animals designed to give your brain a dopamine hit that you can put in little scenes at the end of the week. There are community aspects as well as ways to connect your treatment team, and it sends push notifications to remind you to eat and log at mealtimes. Very helpful, very sane, highly recommended!
"It’s about time I realised,
that what I put in my mouth
won’t change the words that come out of it
that the appearance of rib bones
will not make me laugh any louder
or any more,
and thigh gaps
and cheek bones
and empty stomachs
will not bring me any closer to
or even love,
that a piece of cake
should not have the power
to make me despise myself,
should give more pride,
than starving myself ever should,
That there is no secret key to finding joy,
other than realising
that time is not worth wasting,
on living a half life. "
Add this to the list of things that make me cry
Welcome to our third giveaway! (See previous giveaways here.)
- Life Without Ed by Jenni Schaefer, an excellent book written in bite-sized chapters (this helps wonderfully if you’re struggling with concentration at the moment);
- 1001 Pearls of Buddhist Wisdom, another excellent book written in bite-sized pieces and full of inspiration;
- and The Parent’s Guide to Eating Disorders by Jane Smith, an excellent book to give to your parents if they’re having trouble understanding you and/or your illness.
I will happily ship worldwide, so don’t worry if you’re not in the UK. Reblogs and likes both ‘count’, and you don’t have to be following fyoured (Fuck Your Eating Disorder), but if you do follow us, you won’t regret it, I promise ;)
I will pick somebody at random on Friday 20th May 2013 and will send the books out on the following day (given that you give me your address in time).