Thanks to insurance failing to recognize that an eating disorder is something that needs serious care, I was not allowed to continue at Monte Nido in 2012, nor was I able to afford the follow up care required and recommended.
Bee, the young woman who won my last giveaway, is raising money to continue her eating disorder recovery after her insurance decided not to cover her treatment.
Please donate and spread the link around!
Unfollow the depression blogs, the suicide blogs, the pro-eating disorder blogs. The blogs with bones and wounds, the blogs with black and white. You don’t need the crash diets, the thinspo, any voice telling you you’re not good enough. Not even the one inside your head. Let go.
The beautiful things in life don’t translate to shades of black and white. Stop writing and rewriting your suicide note. Everything you plan to say to people after your death could also be said while you’re still alive. Call people up for lunch. Say it face to face. Say sorry. Say thank you. Say I love you. And live to hear it said back to you.
The word “suicide” or “depression” in your URL does not tell me who you are. Your URL does not tell me what you love to do. You are more than the sadness. You are more than the bones that you’ve wanted so badly to show. You are more than your body measurements. You are more than your scars or your wounds. You are more than your tear stained pillow cases. Your sadness should not be your identity.
Stop searching up “cutting”, “suicide”, and “depression” when you’re feeling down. Search up things that will make you feel better not worse. Search up pictures of animals, good poetry, beautiful places you can escape to someday, art, music, plants, quotes.
When the world teaches you that it’s better to be apathetic and that you should hate, tell them that you’ve hated the world and yourself for far too long now.
Let go. Reach out. Ask for help. Because it’s time to try something different now."
4:43 p.m. (It’s time to let go of your sadness)
Mod note: The day I realized that I was ready to do these things — even if I didn’t feel quite ready, even though I was scared to let go — was one of the major turning points for my depression. It can be comforting to see that others are going through the same thing, it feels better to know you’re not alone in your struggling. But ultimately, if struggling is all you know and see, it can redefine relapse as normal, making it even harder to consider/stick with recovery.
If it’s too much to do all at once, at least consider following a couple more recovery blogs, unfollowing a few thinspo/trigger blogs. Hear some different stories. Make your space a little less harmful. It’s worth it, I promise!
Bulimia can have devastating effects on your body. This virtual guide highlights the parts of your body most damaged by the eating disorder.
Healthline contacted me after they made this to help get the information out there. I think it’s really important, especially after learning that people know so little about eating disorders that aren’t anorexia. Example: in high school, in my health class, a girl asked the teacher if bulimia was actually “bad for you” since “you’re still eating.” The teacher had no idea whether or not bulimia was bad for a person, and the two were literally wondering if, since bulimics eat (though the food never makes it past the stomach), were they really harming themselves?
So please, if honest information about bulimia won’t trigger you, please check this information out. Whether it’s to help yourself, to help a friend, or simply to learn more, we should all be aware.
Binge Eating disorder Supplementary information leaflet
This is important.
Oh, God I thought I was the only one…
This comparison is important. The difference in these two birthdays is important. These photos are taken exactly a year apart: the left is my 18th birthday and the right is my 19th birthday. Here’s how these nights went:
18: I went out to a sushi restaurant with close friends and family. I refused to drink my first legal drink. I was wearing 2 pairs of pants and 3 sweaters. I had one bite of sashimi, ran to the bathroom, locked myself in the stall and purged. I refused to come out and my mom had to get the manager to unlock the door. I cried my eyes out and I had to convince the manager to let me sneak out the back because I was too embarrassed to go back to my own birthday party.
19: I met up with the same (with a few additions) group of friends at a pizza and wine bar. I had half a pizza, 3 glasses of wine and a slice of birthday cake. Scratch that, I had my face pushed into a piece of cake. In this picture I am over 30lbs heavier than one year ago today. I am wearing a thin tank top. I am warm, I am fulfilled and I love myself. (I am also pretty drunk).
I want you to know that recovery is 100% possible. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Some days, it took literally all my strength to push through meals. But I did it, and others can too. Eating disorders are not a “for life” sentence, although they feel like it. With hard work, adventure and patience, you can learn to love yourself again. You can learn to hold yourself together again.
Choosing to let Anorexia consume me would have been one of the last decisions I would have ever made. Choosing recovery was the single greatest decision I’ve ever made.
WOW. JUST WOW.
You will body check all the time. You will confirm that your thumb and middle finger still touch when you wrap them around your thigh, and when they cannot, you will feel ugly.
You will feel jealous of the people who are not going through recovery. You will scrutinise their goal weights and wonder how much lighter you would be if you hadn’t told someone. You will feel profoundly stupid.
You will go to weigh yourself and find that your parents have taken the scales away. You will estimate, then, using how far your stomach sticks out, and how many times your arms jiggle when you shake them.
You will begin to enjoy eating again. When you realise this, you will be overcome with a guilt so strong you will lie on the floor and cry for two hours. This will repeat at least once a week.
You will consider bulimia. You will stare into the toilet and stick two fingers down your throat and vomit nothing but your feelings up into the bowl. You will give up but never stop thinking about it.
You will absentmindedly touch your collarbones. When they begin to become less prominent, you will stare at yourself in the mirror and cry. Your parents think it is out of anger, but it is really out of grief.
You will recover, too, eventually. You will live. But first you have to die a hundred thousand times.
Binge eating disorder affects 3-5% of women (about 5 million) and 2 % of men (3 million). (souce)
Binge eating disorder can leave you feeling stressed, depressed, and out of control. Often times it feels as if no matter how hard you try to control your eating, you’re never fully able to. If this sounds like you, read below for some tips and tricks on how to manage binge eating.
- Manage stress. One of the most important aspects of controlling binge eating is to find alternate ways to handle stress and other overwhelming feelings without using food. These may include exercising, meditating, using sensory relaxation strategies, and practicing simple breathing exercises.
- Don’t Skip Meals. Eating breakfast jump starts your metabolism in the morning. Follow breakfast with a balanced lunch and dinner, and healthy snacks in between. Stick to scheduled mealtimes, as skipping meals often leads to binge eating later in the day.
- Avoid Your Binge Foods. You’re much more likely to overeat if you have junk food, desserts, and unhealthy snacks in the house. Remove the temptation by clearing your fridge and cupboards of your favorite binge foods.
- Stop dieting. The deprivation and hunger of strict dieting can trigger food cravings and the urge to overeat. Instead of dieting, focus on eating in moderation. Find nutritious foods that you enjoy and eat only until you feel content, not uncomfortably stuffed. Avoid banning certain foods as this can make you crave them even more.
- Exercise. Not only will exercise help you lose weight in a healthy way, but it also lifts depression, improves overall health, and reduces stress. The natural mood-boosting effects of exercise can help put a stop to emotional eating.
- Fight boredom. Instead of snacking when you’re bored, distract yourself. Take a walk, call a friend, read, or take up a hobby such as painting or gardening.
- Get enough sleep. If you’re tired, you may want to keep eating in order to boost your energy. Take a nap or go to bed earlier instead.
- Listen to your body. Learn to distinguish between physical and emotional hunger. If you ate recently and don’t have a rumbling stomach, you’re probably not really hungry. Give the craving time to pass.
- Keep a food diary. Write down what you eat, when, how much, and how you’re feeling when you eat. You may see patterns emerge that reveal the connection between your moods and binge eating.
- Get support. You’re more likely to succumb to binge eating triggers if you lack a solid support network. Talking helps, even if it’s not with a professional. Lean on family and friends, join a support group, and if possible consult a therapist.
All of the above tips are steps that I took to help overcome binge eating and they’re the same steps that I give to people everyday. Please, if you feel like there is no way out, know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You are not alone and you can beat this!
* Please do not remove credit of images or steal them, I made all images above*
~ Dani (little-miss-curvy)