divinityphotography:

Here’s just an insight into what my grocery shopping is like. Hopefully it will help you understand what people with eating disorders deal with.

• Open cupboard.
• Notice bag of potatoes purchased a month ago.
• Remember how delicious homemade mashed potatoes are.
• Decide to make mashed potatoes before potatoes go bad.
• Do potatoes go bad?
• Need to buy sour cream.
• Get ready to leave.
• Decide to get some 0 calorie drinks as well.
• Grab shopping bag and drive to grocery store.
• Decide to get granola bars.
• Walk to granola bar aisle.
• Remember how often you binge on granola bars while rationalizing that they’re “healthy.”
• Skip granola bars, but notice the energy bars.
• Remember reading something on an anorexic’s blog about eating Clif bars to prevent hair loss.
• Decide to try a Clif bar.
• Get upset that the store doesn’t carry the 100 calorie bars.
• Get a 120 calorie mint Clif bar instead.
• Walk to sports drink aisle.
• Pick out two 0 calorie bottles.
• Grab an Urban Detox as well as a Thursday pick-me-up.
• Walk to dairy coolers.
• Notice soy milk.
• Grab some chocolate soy milk because you’re out and it’s lower in calories and fat than dairy milk.
• Find sour cream.
• Think about getting fat free sour cream.
• Decide that that’s a bit too disordered.
• Get light sour cream instead.
• Walk to front of store.
• Think about buying ingredients for trail mix.
• Remember that the last time you made trail mix, it was all you’d eat.
• Good times.
• Good times?
• Hungry times.
• Pause at front of store.
• Cave and go back to granola bars.
• Get annoyed that you can’t find the strawberry 90 calorie bars you love.
• Grab a box of 90 calorie raspberry cheesecake granola bars instead.
• Avert eyes while walking past chocolate display.
• Go to self checkout.
• Unload bag.
• Worry that people will look at your items and somehow know you’re eating-disordered.
• Hate the noises that the checkout makes.
• Checkout as fast as possible.
• Walk quickly back to car.
• Drive home.
• Make mashed potatoes with lots of sour cream and butter.